Now just where are my glasses?
There they are.
-Owl’s Conundrum, solved.
I can’t see my feet.
-Steve the fish in one of his morning episodes
Red, soft, juicy, What is this?
It’s a strawberry.
-Written in a supermarket
When was the last time you pet a dog?
I don’t know.
Maybe you should try it again.
Huh. You might be right. You’ve given me a lot to think about.
Oh well I’ll just leave him there.
-A man who would rather stay anonymous. (Ken Jenkins, Maryhill Rd. Alabama)
I always like to imagine that when the fish come home from school they take off their jackets and hats, switch into their beaters and glasses and say, “Hey baby, what’s cooking?” and their partner will say, “the last ten years of my life, Phil, the last ten goddamn years of my life.”
-Dave when he got drunk again